Conflict Resolution

The most interesting concept that we have covered is that there are direct benefits to conflict. I have always been a conflict avoider because I do not like to step on people's toes and have always worried that addressing the conflict will lead to more conflict. That has been an intrinsic trait of mine for as long as I can remember. Learning in class that addressing conflict with tact and diplomacy has allowed me to look back throughout my life and think about the times where I have addressed conflict and examine the outcome from an outsider's perspective. I can see now where addressing conflict in a way that stated my opinion of the situation without belittling the other person has actually resulted in earning the respect of the other person in regards to the conflict. One example that comes to mind is mustering up the gumption to discuss politics with my parents who are cut from completely different cloths in that regard.

The other side that I have also analyzed is to consider how I may have dealt with conflict differently throughout my life by confronting it with compassion rather than avoiding it altogether. Not dealing with problems does not make them disappear and only serves to allow both parties to stew over the conflict catalyst. As we all journey into the great unknown that is life, it will always be an asset to have an understanding of how to deal with inevitable conflict with others.

My favorite example from class was Margie's Dare to Disagree. All of the employees were afraid of the impending conflict that would have arisen if they expressed their concerns with the faulty medical contraption. Everybody had similar discrepancies but nobody wanted to blow the whistle. Lives were saved as a result of addressing the issue. This may not be the case for all interpersonal conflict, but all of the parties were feeling the tension and eager to come to a resolution once the issue was confronted.

My woo-woo two cents on the subject of conflict is that humans are a lot like atoms. We're all floating around bumping into one another and sometimes we meet others that we share bonds with, other times we repel one another because the charges just aren't right. Even with those that fill our outer shell just right, the charges aren't always going to be. Conflict is inevitable so we have to learn to confront it in thoughtful and meaningful ways, no matter if they are our covalent buddies or our polar opposites.

Core Conditions of Interpersonal Relations

As I near the end of my college career and am faced with the thought of re-entering the work force, reflecting on Carl Rogers' Three Essentials reminds me of everything I hated about having a career. I worked in a pretty cutthroat industry where backs were stepped on to get ahead and corners were cut everywhere to save a buck. Working with others requires cooperation, and if embodied, the Three Key Essentials could contribute to an extremely effective team. In this case, people were disingenuous, unemphatic and without unconditional positive regard because their own advancement was more important than a civil work environment.

Genuineness is defined as openness and honesty in regards to one's feelings, needs and ideas. This is absolutely necessary to maintain a civil work environment. If people cannot communicate how they are feeling in regards to their work, they may not be able to work effectively as a team. The feng shui of a team is very important in that the team members must understand one another. This may be in regards to being able to rely on others that they will complete their end of the work, or even knowing when somebody is having a rough day and to give them space and pick up their slack, as you know they would do for you.

Unconditional positive regard is difficult to achieve, especially at work. You are going to work with people you don't like. No way around it. The key to non-possessive love is to look for redeeming qualities in the person. If they rub you the wrong way but get work done, then just appreciate them for their hard work. If somebody is not carrying their weight and that is what makes it difficult for you to hold them in unconditional positive regard, perhaps you could find a way to diplomatically approach them about the situation by letting them know how it makes you feel.

Empathy is, I think, the hardest of the three essentials to achieve. It is, however, the most important one for a manager or supervisor to master. It is vital for us as humans to be able to comprehend that everybody has their own frame of reference and is playing the hand that they were dealt. We can hope that everybody is playing that hand to the best of their abilities but such is not always the case. It is especially important for managers and supervisors to practice empathy. Things happen in people's lives and work cannot and should not be every person's main priority for 100% of their lives. Buses may run late, tires may go flat, loved ones may run ill. Some flexibility, within reason, should be practiced to maintain a happy, loyal and productive staff

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

 The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test much like Bolton's test in that the person being assessed is asked several hypothetical questions about how they would respond in various situations. I think the MBTI is more in depth in that there are a total of sixteen personality types assessing attitude, perception, judging and personality. Bolton's test only provides four personality types based on assertiveness and responsiveness. The test is available through several websites, guidance counselors and other trained assessors. It is free to take online and in schools.

A much longer multiple choice test is used to assess the personality and define the trait for that character. Attitude is labeled as either extroverted (E) or introverted (I). Perception is labeled as either sensing (S) or intuition (N). Judging is labeled as either thinking (T) or feeling (F). Personality is labeled as judging (J) or perceiving (P). One trait from each classification is determined from the test and the four letters make up one of the sixteen personality types.

I took the test and was classified as an ENTP. Extroverted attitude, intuitive perception, thinking judge, and a perceiving personality. I read about the personality type and it was a much better description of myself than Bolton's test. With Bolton's test, I feel excluded from the other traits that I bear at certain times. I was labeled an amiable based on the test and although I do have amiable traits, I have traits from the other classifications as well. My personality can change to suit the environment that I am in. The MTBI gives me a better understanding of who I am and how I may expect myself to behave in different scenarios. I may go through all four types of Bolton's personalities in one day but at the end of the day, I am an ENTP.

Briggs Myers, I. (1980, 1995) Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type

Jung, C. G. (1971). Psychological types (Collected works of C. G. Jung, volume 6, Chapter X)